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Last Five Hangovers...
The Ten Thousand Dollar Choking Hazard - 2004-12-09
Mixing Advice - 2004-10-24
A Grave Injustice - 2004-09-27
A Short History of the Bloody Mary (in My Life) - 2004-07-31
If You Build It, We Will Come - 2004-07-19

BE A FRIEND OF THE MOVEMENT!

There once was a drunk chick named Heather;
To booze she was inexorably tethered.
Then, one fateful day,
Work got in the way,
And now she barely remembers what alcohol even tastes like, which is tragic.

Twinkle, twinkle, sweet Duvel,
How I miss your luscious smell.
Rich of color and a taste so fine.
Duvel, Belgian ale, you’re so divine.
You foamed wildly in my glass
When we saw that Aussie had a hot ass.
Do you miss me? Even a bit?
I promise you I haven't quit.

The intemperate whip of a turgid belly was once tamed only by its gentle caress, a coddling cradle rocking a fickle body into safe submission. Lo! He is gone. Thou art my master; me, thy lowly thirsty wench. Lo, sir, return me to thy comfortable slavery! Whither, sweet friend? WHITHER? ... No, seriously, Alcohol Tolerance, where the fuck are you? Don’t make me cut you.

-- Heather